Birthday in Bangalore

"Many many happy returns of the day Michelle!"

The first time someone in India wished me a happy birthday like this, I thought it was a sarcastic blessing, as in they hoped I was able to easily return all the gifts I didn't really like.

Cake, pre-smearing

I quickly realized that this greeting was a typical Indian way of saying "Happy Birthday," with all the associated blessings and well wishes.

My recent birthday on Saturday was the first one I've celebrated abroad. Overall it was good, although I missed being able to call more of my family and friends since I was out for most of the weekend and, well, timezones.

On Friday night I went to an expat social event hosted by a group called the Bangalore Expat Club (bec). I've met some young adults there from Italy, Germany, Mexico, the U.S., Iraq, and the Congo, as well as India. Most people are working in India, while a few are here for school. At midnight, the DJ and my new friends wished me a happy birthday.

My new friend Sheryl - yes it was hot and humid!

On Saturday, my work team took me for a day event at a resort called Mango Mist. We started off the day with the traditional "cake smearing," where after you cut your birthday cake, those closest to you make your face eat the cake:

We are part of the cake tribe! 

No I didn't have to wear it all day!

I liked Mango Mist as I was able to enjoy nature and play paintball, which I've never done before. I was also able to conquer a "difficult" level ropes course, enjoy a BBQ and lunch buffet with my co-workers and some of their families.

The downside of the event was that it took over 90 minutes to get there, and 3 hours to get back. Traffic in Bangalore can be horrendously frustrating - it took that long to go less than 20 miles.

When I finally reached my hotel, I found a nice birthday display including a cake, personalized bottle of wine, card and a bouquet of red carnations in my room. This helped put me in a better mood!

Gifts from the hotel

After resting for a bit, one of my new friends from the bec took me out for beef tacos as this is what I was really craving. The beef was imported from Brazil, and I devoured four hard shell tacos, and some taco soup.

I then had the hotel tech support help me connect my computer to the TV, so I could watch El Clásico on the big screen. Even though the game started at midnight, I easily stayed awake to watch Real Madrid come back from a 1-goal deficit, and a red card (thanks Ramos), to beat Barca 2-1. It was a great end to the day.

Group shot from Mango Mist

Sheryl took me out for dinner and dessert on Sunday night. We ate Thai curry and some chili chicken at an Oriental place, then she was craving McDonald's soft-serve which sounded good to me at that moment, too. We stayed out for a while walking around an area called Koramangala, and it was a really nice, chill, enjoyable end to a great birthday weekend.

It was so hot inside that suit

Even though this birthday felt much different than the others, I felt loved and appreciated. Thanks to everyone who sent me birthday wishes - may you have many many happy returns :)

Bollywood Reflections, Part 1

Greetings from Bangalore - happy Resurrection Sunday! I've had a good time the past few weeks. I've been learning more about India's two passions, cricket and Bollywood. I've watched a number of cricket matches (the world cup is going on right now in India), and I've seen two Indian movies in the theater.

The first movie, Neerja, portrayed the life of the courageous Neerja Bhanot, who sacrificed her life while protecting over 350 passengers on Pan Am flight 73 in 1986. The flight was hijacked by a terrorist organization. The movie was in Hindi with English subtitles, and I give it 3 out of 5 stars (the plot was a slow and the acting forced at times).

Lobby of INOX Theater at Garuda Mall

The second Bollywood movie I saw was Kapoor and Sons, which was advertised as a family drama revolving around two brothers who fell for the same girl. It was not a comedy, as I had hoped, but a dramatic tale of family secrets, acceptance, life and death. This move was in Hindi with no subtitles, and I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

I was amazed at how much of Kapoor and Sons I was able to follow based on the cinematography and the universality of certain human emotions (love, anger, disappointment, etc.). One of the most memorable scenes of the movie actually came during the advertisements that preceded the movie. Please check out this link to see the ad:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwW0X9f0mME.

It wasn't until the very end of this tear-jerker that I realized the ad was for a laundry detergent. The ad spoke to the cultural norms that pervade not only India, but the U.S. too - laundry and the home are a women's domain, and men can't be bothered with such things.

My personal view is that each couple should discuss and come to an agreement on the roles in a house, and serve each other willingly and wholeheartedly.

In the movie Neerja, the audience is shown parts of the heroine's past, including the demise of her first marriage. Her husband is shown verbally and emotionally abusing her for actions such as bringing home take-away food for supper when she had to work late and for trying to pursue her blossoming modeling career while being a new wife.

The movie looked like a comedy...

These scenes show that India, like the U.S., is grappling with gender roles in society. One of the major themes in Sheryl Sandberg's book Lean In (click for quotes) is that each couple should discuss and agree on who should be responsible for what. Maybe one person is responsible for laundry and cleaning, and the other for cooking and grocery shopping. I think this is important so resentment doesn't grow, especially if one person feels that they are contributing more to the relationship than another.

I write this post to share a glimpse into Indian cinema and the issues that this society grapples with, which are very similar to those men and women in the U.S. face every day. I think we all need to talk about expectations and goals in our various relationships, and support each other towards those. Let's all work to #ShareTheLoad.

Month 1 Reflections

I've been in Bangalore for just over a month now - can you believe it?! Work has been going well and I am settling into the hotel room which will be my home for the next few months.

Although my original plan was to stay in a serviced apartment (furnished place with daily maid service), none of the options I was shown felt particularly safe to me. The hotel has been good so far.

I've noted a number of little things over the past month that hit me as either unexpected, surprising, or just plain weird. Since you've been on this journey with me so far, I'd thought I share some of them with you:

English is common, but so are misunderstandings
To avoid the astronomical laundry charges at my first hotel, I ordered laundry service through an app on my new local phone. The first time I used the app, the courier showed up on the wrong day. The second time I used the app, he showed up at the wrong location.

I thought the instructions were pretty clear!

Worse still, my entire second order was dry cleaned. Upon realizing the mistake, all my clothes were actually laundered, including the pieces I had designated as dry-clean only.

I did get a $5 voucher for my troubles that I have yet to redeem.

Pervasive recommendations
Indians are an agreeable bunch and also an opinionated one. Most Indians I meet are quick to offer recommendations on trips to take, restaurants to try, and shops to visit.

Although many people have provided recommendations, very few have invited me to do something with them. A partner at PwC and his wife invited me to join them on their Valentine's Day dinner, and a co-worker invited our team to his daughter's 2nd birthday lunch. A few more people have extended invitations for future events, but particularly the first few weeks I was here, I was surprised at how few people invited me to do things with them.

Outside Valentine's Day Dinner

These experiences have definitely made me sympathize with what immigrants and foreigners in the U.S. must experience daily. While I think I am generally a welcoming person, this experience has made me more acutely aware of the challenges and loneliness of settling in another place.

The lack of good nail salons
I did not expect to miss my go-to nail salon, Decor Nails, so much. Since Bangalore is 9x the size of Charlotte, I assumed there would be a plethora of quality nail salons in Bangalore.

I was wrong.

Gel nails, after one day :(

I've set foot in three different places in search of a quality manicure. I walked out on one after deciding that one of my new personal maxims is, don't go to a nail salon that also doubles as a tattoo parlor.

I've had to return to two nail salons for nails that chipped <2 days after the manicure, and most recently, I had to remind the nail tech that the manicure should happen before the polish is applied, and that a base coat should be used before applying coral polish.

Wild monkeys
There are many wandering cows, dogs, and goats in Bangalore. Surprisingly, I have only seen cats on two occasions. What I was not expecting was how many monkeys I would see!

Monkey's eating a cucumber on my shoulder!

In my trek to Nandi Hills, I shared how shocked I was to see wild monkeys. Yesterday, I took a colleague who's in town for two weeks to the largest park (Lal Bagh) in Bangalore. She desperately wanted to see monkeys, and we found them alright - and we also found a local who has trained the monkeys to eat fresh veggies off the heads and out of the hands of brave tourists:

Wild birds
In addition to being entertained by the many monkeys running around, I have also been enthralled by the number and sheer size of the birds in Bangalore. Every morning I see at least ten birds circling outside my window, and while eating breakfast, I watch them fly at least as high as the 15th floor.

Egyptian Vulture, image from
http://bangalorecaptured.com/tag/flycatcher/

The Asian paradise flycatcher is the most unusual one bird seen. I saw one at Nandi Hills. If its flying at the right angle, it resembles a fish.

Google Image

Google Image

Social activities, aesthetics, and wildlife - hope you enjoyed some of my observations from month one. Stay tuned for month 2!

First Trek to Nandi Hills

In Moving to India - the FAQs, I mentioned a list of the Top 55 Most Popular Places Around Bangalore, according to Thrillophilia (which sounds like a disease I desperately don't want to catch). Number 2 on this list was a trek to Nandi Hills, which I was fortunate enough to do this past Saturday.

View from Nandi Hills

Not quite hills and not quite mountains, Nandi Hills remind me of the smaller foothills in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Nandi Hills is the biggest hill, and is where a historical figure in Mysore, Tipu Sultan, used to go for holidays. You can read more about the hills here.

Everyone I consulted with suggested that Nandi Hills was only worth the trek for sunrise. So, being the semi-professional travel planner that I am, I used a co-worker's trusted driver and left plenty of extra travel time so I could make it there for sunrise.

Enjoying the breeze

My plan would have worked well if the driver hadn't used my call asking him where he was as his wakeup call! The driver did try to make up his almost an hour tardiness by driving aggressively, even by Indian standards. We drove through the sleeping city, past the airport, and into the outskirts of the city. Through the darkness, I could just make out street vendors starting to stir from the sleepy settlements.

It took a little less than an hour to reach Nandi Hills. While most of the trip was in the morning darkness, our drive to the top was illuminated by a hazy morning light.

Line for entry

Because the hills are very popular for sunrise, by the time we reached the entrance to the top of the hill, there was a long line of people waiting for the entrance ticket. While I didn't get to see the actual sunrise from the peak of the mountain, I did see something better - something unexpected:

Monkeys. Wild monkeys!

The first ones I saw were perched on an awning over the public restrooms. They were scampering for their breakfast of bananas and chips, handed over by the trekkers, or stolen from unattended backpack.

After obtaining the entrance ticket, I walked up a stone-step pathway (ala Machu Picchu) to the top of the hills. The walk took about 10 minutes, and was punctuated by the sound of car and bike horns. Unfortunately, the park allows cars and two-wheelers (aka motor bikes) to the top of the peak, which somewhat destroys the serenity of the place.

Just begs you to sit down, doesn't it?

The top of the hill has a circular path, with expansive views from all sides. This was by far my favorite view:

Given that Bangalore has a pollution problem, it felt good to be surrounding by nature and somewhat fresher air.

The morning sun felt so good

I even found a tree to climb:

I had to fight monkey for this branch
(kidding, kidding)

The hills are less than an hour from the city center, and I intend to do this trek again and chase the sunrise. Next time, I may even bring some food for the monkeys!

#TransitionTrials: Getting a Cell Phone

In a culture brought up on family plans, carrier competition, and burner mobiles, I was absolutely shocked to experience how hard it is to obtain a local Indian cell phone number.

I decided I needed to get a local phone because my calls back to the states, both direct line and toll free, kept dropping, and I've been having to use the expensive hotel line to make work calls. I figured if I had a local number, I can use that for calling my co-workers here, and making cheaper calls back to the states.

What I needed in India

After the Mumbai terrorist attacks of 2008, which lasted four days, killed 164 people and wounded over 300 people, India tightened the requirements for obtaining a local number. These restrictions are said to improve national security and make it harder for terrorists to communicate with each other.

Since my teenage years were shaped by 9/11 and the national security concerns that have dominated public conversation since, I can sympathize with the way the Indian government responded to the Mumbai attacks by tightening their grip on who could get a phone.

To obtain my local number, I had to talk to the admin at my local office, who contacted the carrier (Airtel) representative assigned to our office. The representative showed up a few hours later. I had to provide him with two hard copy passport photos, a letter from my company stating that I was employed by them, a company reference (including a copy of their passport), my local tax ID, copies of my Indian visa, passport, and proof of US address; and proof of local address. I also had to sign in almost 10 places, including across two of my photographs, which the Airtel rep pasted to my application.

Pasting my picture on my SIM card application

After I obtained my SIM card (by signing away my first-born child, as some would say), I then asked the admin how I could get a phone for the SIM card.

His answer? "Oh. You'll have to figure that out."

I reached out to some colleagues who provided names of some electronic stores close by (which apparently means more than an hour away). I went to the stores one afternoon, shopped around, and purchased a Samsung Galaxy J2, much like this one:

My Indian smart phone model

After convincing the sales rep that I needed help activating the phone with the SIM card, I had to call Airtel customer service and spent over 10 minutes verifying my information with them in order to have my card activated for calls and data.

Finally, two hours after calling them, my phone was activated, and I was able to make local calls and send cheap local texts.

All was going well until yesterday, when I tried to place a call and was informed by the automated voice (Indian, with a British accent) that outgoing calls were banned from my number. Calls to multiple customer service lines were unsuccessful. Apparently, Airtel has a certain number of days to physically verify my residential address (read: someone actually shows up at your address to verify that you stay there and makes you sign a piece of paper. Can you imagine if that happened for high school sports residencies?).

I signed more times for a cell phone than I did for my mortgage

It took a full 36 hours for my admin to get in contact with our company's representative, who insisted that I needed to visit the customer service center. I insisted back that I was happy to fax or email the residency proof but that I would NOT be traveling to the store.

After 9 emails and 10 phone calls - my phone is working. Yippee!!

This is one #TransitionTrial that I am glad to have overcome. If you need to reach me in India, please message me for my local number :)

First Walk: Cubbon Park

Greetings from Bangalore! I wanted to write here sooner, but the transition over the past week has been harder than I anticipated and I haven't had much energy to sit down and write. More on #TransitionTrials later, but first, a happier post.

Friends enjoying a walk

Today, I finally managed to explore the park near my hotel. Cubbon Park is Bangalore's second largest park, behind Lal Bagh Park. I went for an early morning (okay, let's be honest - early afternoon - baby girl's been tired!) walk and enjoyed seeing bright flowers, pick-up cricket games, families having picnics, and my first Indian ground squirrels.

I also had my first experience in India of strangers asking to take their picture with me!

The tree blossoms remind me of the sun

One of the difficulties in navigating a new city is the absence of mental maps. Even though I've been to Bangalore twice before, I don't really have a good understanding of the roads and areas of Bangalore. And it's not just the city's roads and directions that I'm unfamiliar with; it's the mental maps of how to get certain processes accomplished. My reference points, my modus operandi, my "scripts" (for my grad school friends / fans of Goffman), all feel invalid.

I saw at least 5 stray dogs in the park

For example, in the states, if I need something from a drug store, I google "CVS" or "Walgreens" to find the nearest store, get in my car, and drive there. Here, I'm learning the names of pharmacies, but I'm not sure if they have the products I need or the best way to get there, or even what their hours are.

Look Mom I can take pictures of flowers, too!

So today, I started to make a mental map of Cubbon Park, a place where I hope to burn many calories in the months to come. I walked around the perimeter of two of the park's main sections before walking through the denser central areas. As I was approaching the end of my first exploration, I smelled something deeply familiar that I couldn't place. Then I realized what it was:

The smell of rain.

Five sprinklers were watering some trees and plants, and the damp earth reminded me of fresh rain. I stood enthralled for a while, watching the water shoot from the sprinklers and splash upon the green leaves and the brown bark, trickle down the stems and roots, and puddle into mud.

The sound of rain. I haven't heard it in a while - the average monthly rainfall in Bangalore this time of year is less than half an inch - but it made me realize how much I enjoy listening to the spring rains in the states, and how homey a thunderstorm can be.

I resisted the urge to run through the sprinklers (Mom), but I did catch their mist and smiled as the water droplets smeared my sunglasses.

Line of sprinklers

I'm realizing it's the little things - such as the taste of Philadelphia cheesecake, the sound of rain, and watching the news about the election back home - that help keep me grounded and from becoming adrift in a sea of Hindi, Kannada, Tamil, Telegu, traffic, and unfamiliar systems.

Speaking of little things, my next task for the day is finding a nail salon and getting these talons taken care of. Will let you know how that goes :)

Welcome to (FC) Bengaluru

Well it's official! I've made it to India. I've been here for two days now and already have so many experiences I want to write about.

First though, I'd like to thank my friends and family for all of their support of my temporary move. Here are a few pictures of some sweet moments in the states before I left:

Co-workers at my "going away" lunch

Mi Madre

2/3 of the Charlotte PwC Finance practice

Enjoying an Indian buffet

Queens represent!

There are some stories from my journey over to India that I definitely want to share with you soon. But, it shouldn't come as a surprise that one of the first things I want to share has to do with soccer :)

I am staying for now in a hotel that overlooks a park and the city team's soccer stadium. I learned by reading the local newspaper that the city's team, FC Bengaluru, had their first home game of the season yesterday. When I got back from work, I decided to head to the game, which started at 7 PM.

View of the soccer stadium from my hotel

I immediately encountered one startling difference between sporting events in the states and sporting events in India - the ticketing system. I walked around the stadium trying to find the ticket booth. When I couldn't find it, I asked a security guard where I could get a ticket. He told me that I could buy it at the gate, and he quoted me a price of about $19; this was the price printed near the entry gate.

Hala Madrid - even in India :) 

I told him that was too expensive and that he should point me to another gate with less expensive seats. He asked me how much I wanted to pay, $10? I said that was fine. So he led me past the ticket agents and up the stairs to the seating next to the VIP section. He asked for my cash when no one was looking.

I sat in a covered section with about 20 other fans (I was the only woman in the section). I talked to one man whose son played on the junior team and was one of the field attendants for the night. The game itself was pretty exciting - the final score ended up being 4 - 1, and the home team easily won.

The presence of dogs at the stadium was another difference between sporting events in American and in India. Stray dogs ran around the track surrounding the field, rolled in sand patches on the track, and even used it as their personal potty. I kept waiting for the dogs to run on to the field and start chasing the ball. It didn't happen during this game. Maybe the next one!

The "12th" man - woof

The most memorable part of the game was the behavior of the home team's coach. The English coach of the Bangalore team cussed more than any coach I've ever encountered, in person or on TV. He cussed at his players, the refs, even the other coach. When arguing with the other coach about a PK that wasn't called, he made a gesture that mocked the other coach's weight, which elicited cheers from the more boisterous fans (there were about 6,000 people in attendance, as it turns out).

I actually felt embarrassed for the home team for what I thought was ridiculous behavior. The man next to me assured me that this was just the coach's "personality on the pitch," and that he was really a very nice guy.

Most of the 6,000 fans were in the section above me

As I left, I ran into the security guard who took my ticket money earlier. He shook my hand, handed me a sealed can of coke and a wrapped chicken salad sandwich, and told me that next time, I can get in for free.